LGBTQ people deserve freedom, joy, and ease in our lives. We deserve to be ourselves, without minimizing who we are, apologizing for who we are, or pretending to be someone we are not. All of these become much more possible for us when we live somewhere our identities are respected, with laws that affirm our right to express our identities without fear of discrimination or reprisal. I haven’t found a ton of resources out there geared toward folks who want to move to the safest states for LGBTQ folks – so I built my own. It’s heavily researched, based off of queer and trans journalists I trust and reporting I’ve done for my LGBTQ travel book.
What are the Safest States for LGBTQ? People
If you’re looking for the safest states for LGBTQ people, choose New England (minus New Hampshire), and the West Coast states (including Hawaii) are very safe. So are Colorado and New Mexico.
The linked post explains why each state is recommended for LGBTQ people. I update that post and my LGBTQ US travel guide regularly.
Step 1: Understand Your Safety Needs
Safety is personal and varies based on factors like identity, privilege, and risk tolerance.
For example, as a white person, I have privileges that make me safer than LGBTQ people of color. However, as a gender-nonconforming person, I face challenges navigating public spaces, particularly in states with bathroom bills.
What makes you feel safe depends on your identity and the varying levels of privilege you hold. There is no one right answer for everyone.
I like to think about safety on three different levels: Basic safety needs for survival, community safety needs, and interpersonal or social safety needs.
Here’s what those look like with examples:
- Basic Needs: Survival needs include air, shelter, water, food, sleep, and sex. Losing federal protections could lead to job loss. If that happens, can you afford rent? How long? Can you find another job quickly? Consider your health, wellness, and ability—these factors play a role in meeting basic needs.
- Community Safety: Do you feel physically safe in your community? Are there Trump flags on your neighbors’ porches? Have you faced street harassment or threats for being LGBTQ? Anti-queer violence is on the rise. Even in progressive areas, harassment exists. Feeling unsafe in your community makes it hard to thrive.
- Social Needs: Relationships with friends, family, and coworkers matter. If people in your life voted against your rights, can you trust them? About half of LGBTQ people aren’t out at work. If we can’t bring our full selves to the workplace, the emotional toll is significant—especially as homophobia and transphobia become normalized.
Take time to reflect on these levels. Where do you feel safe or unsafe? What would be a tipping point that would compel you to leave your current situation?
If it helps, you can journal answers to these questions.
These related posts explore safety and can help you think through the issue from other angles:
Step 2: Research Safe States for LGBTQ
These are the websites I use to check state laws, pending legislation, and social attitudes.
Movement Advancement Project: Allows you to compare laws in different states. Also provides some basic data on LGBTQ populations in different states.
Chosen Family Law Center: LGBTQ law firm that provides explainers around things like Project 2025 and can also help with any legal needs, from name changes to estate planning.
Everywhere is Queer: Website and app for researching LGBTQ-owned businesses and finding community.
Erin in the Morning: Regular reporting around laws impacting transgender Americans.
LGBTQ Legislative Tracker 2025: Spreadsheet tracking proposed anti-LGBTQ legislation on a state by state basis.
Where Should I Live?: A quiz to help you figure which cities meet your needs.
MoveMap: Data visualization tool that helps you explore communities by cost of living, weather, and more
On the Queer Adventurers newsletter, I spotlight LGBTQ travel stories twice a month. Many previous issues have tracked changing LGTBQ rights and personal safety in the US – including changing laws in places like Texas, Florida, and New Hampshire. If you’re looking for a low-key way to keep up with issues without feeling overwhelmed, sign up.
Subscribers also get access to helpful freebies, including my safer states LGBTQ moves guide and an LGBTQ digital nomad research template. These resources walk you through where to research, how to plan, and reflection questions to ensure you’re thinking comprehensively – not reacting from a place of panic or anxiety. Sign up now to unlock those bonuses.
Step 3: Rank Your Your Priorities and Plan Your Move
For those considering moving to a new state, here’s what I recommend prioritizing:
- State Laws Protecting LGBTQ Rights: Some states enshrine marriage equality and anti-discrimination protections in their laws. This way if federal laws are overturned, you are still protected at the state level. This offers valuable peace of mind!
- Absence of Harmful Laws: Look for states without laws penalizing LGBTQ people, such as bans on gender-affirming care or trans participation in sports. The 2025 legislative tracker (linked above) will help you tell whether a state on your list is considering any bad laws.
- Progressive Governance: States and cities with progressive leaders are more likely to pass policies safeguarding LGBTQ rights. Special shoutout to my former home city, Somerville, Massachusetts, the first city in the US to offer legal safeguards to polyamorous families
Narrow down states that might be a fit using these criteria. Then, look for areas within the state where you can afford to live.
I recommend you consider practical and personal factors to narrow it down.
A state might have all the right laws, but is it a good fit for you?
That depends on things like:
- Cost of living – Can you afford to buy or rent?
- Availability of jobs – How easy is it for you to get a job in your field there? Do you need a special license?
- Proximity to chosen family – Do you have friends or relatives nearby? When researching my move to the Hudson Valley, we stayed with friends and relatives. It was a huge help and cut down our costs while planning.
- Lifestyle and interests – What’s the access like for favorite activities, interests and hobbies? Are there queer friendly outdoor clubs you can join?
It’s about finding a place where you can afford to live, feel safe being yourself, and still be close enough to the people who matter most.
Why Move to Safer States for LGBTQ?
Many states are proposing legislation that is harmful to LGBTQ+ lives, including legislation that prevents trans youth and adults from accessing gender affirming care and legislation that bans LGBTQ+ free expression (like book bans, drag bans, and Don’t Say Gay laws).
These laws punish us for being who we are — for living in ways that authentically affirm us and make us feel good.
The worst of these laws encourage scrutiny of LGBTQ people and even violence.
Living in a place where our identities are not respected takes a toll on our health and wellbeing. We may avoid needed medical care because we don’t trust a doctor to respect our identity or we lack the time or money to travel to a bigger inclusive city where we can get needed care without judgment or shame.
Moving helps us get free, live with dignity and authenticity, and be ourselves.
What if I Don’t Want to Move?
That’s fine! You don’t have to move. You may not be in a place where moving makes sense for you, logistically or financially. You might take a “wait and see” approach — decide to stay for now with the goal of moving if things get worse.
You might have no intention of moving, period the end. You might feel called to stay put, protect your chosen family, and do what you can to make your area more inclusive. Those are valid choices and you don’t need to justify them to me or anyone else.
The reality is, some folks in the LGBTQ+ community do need to get out of states and cities where we cannot be ourselves openly, and there are few resources that help us research and plan out of state moves.
Have a great resource to share? Please contact me and I’ll get it out to my newsletter subscribers and update this post.
